when people are pushing ur buttons and ur just like “how am i gonna be a hufflepuff about this”
was I supposed to sing that to the tune of pompeii? because that’s what happened
Tiny kitten demonstrates expert throat-slitting technique. Nature is amazing.
"Oh sibling kisses—
NO SISTER WHYY?!”
guys what do hostages do if they have to pee really badly
like do the bad guys let you have toilet breaks or escort you to the loo
My cousin was held for 36 hours by the Gulf cartel. He said they were pretty chill about bathroom breaks.
I want more to that story
So I’m sure you recognize this as one of the epic moments from “The Prince of Egypt” where we see the super majestic whale as they cross through the Red Sea. However I noticed just one little issue: whale tales don’t move from side to side, they move up and down. And then it hit me, that’s not a whale. That’s not a whale. It’s a motherfucking SHARK. A BIG ASS MEGALODONIAN SHARK. WAITING IN THE WATER TO EAT THE PHARAOH’S SOLDIERS. Goddamn, Dreamworks.
Illustrations by Daniel Teixeira
my fish is dying and all you can do is argue with me over why I should’ve named him Gale instead of Peeta.
and it doesn’t matter who you’re saying it to